The compassion we are talking about here is so much about an absence: its a space where there isn’t finger wagging, fixing, judging as lacking moral character that needs to be brought to the light. Instead, something else is happening - a basic warmth and respect for whatever comes up - however dark or violent - so that energies within are given a chance to come out of exile and know themselves in terms of dignity and worth and inclusion in the field of love.

And then - the feeling of true befriending of the energies. Including of the idea that injured energies are “angry gods” - without it having to have much movement. Respecting the dignity of the energy easily allows for extension into that.

Finding an embodied dignity - with old hurts - where its only felt like terror and resistance could be possible. Noticing something different.

We’re speaking here of a focus on the kind of compassion that stays steady when things get really uncomfortable. The kind of compassion that doesn’t get fall away when rage or terror or something profoundly mysterious is in the room: that’s where compassion counts most. That’s what we’re here for.

We’re speaking here of accessing the wisdom of the body. But how deep does that go? We’re speaking here of accessing all the wisdom that lies outside ordinary mind - intuition, the whispering of instinct, openness to messages from something “greater than ourselves”. The felt sense of the body can be the place through which we expand past the loops of our ordinary mind to find something radically, awesomely new.

Here’s the Ground from where it can become possible to stay open-hearted, even when triggered - even when confronted with something we find gruesome of bad.

So - we stay open - still. Listening: for the depth of our own inner wisdom and grace. And we stay open to notice a kind of primordial dignity beneath all our anxieties and perceived shortcomings. From this place - this ground of being - we may notice how infinitely worthy we are. Not broken. Not irredeemably bad or wounded. And this becomes the place from which we can meet the world and all its sorrows with a renewed sense of grace and agency.

For the space of a session we let go of commitment to forward motion, efficiency, productivity. A space that feels safe, protected and calm offers the opportunity to surrender: to nature’s rhythms, to the felt reality of bones and mud - and the stillness below all “to do” lists where a part of our soul waits for us. The author Francis Weller offers that “we need to be moving in a rhythm that is syncopated with that of the oaks and willows, heartbeats and touch. We must recall the original cadence of the soul.“ This is our aim.

So - the space of a session becomes a sanctuary for this kind of slowing down. Often, that means ceremoniously closing the door on the normal world and its speed and demands. Turning off the phone. Silencing email and text alerts.

This ain’t “healing on demand”. We slow down and offer a space for healing to happen at its own pace - like a seed slowly pushing through the soil or fruit ripening slowly on the vine. Some things can’t be rushed…

Empathy in Rosenberg's NVC framework is about fully connecting with another person's emotional state and understanding their needs without judgment or offering advice. It involves a deep level of listening and presence that goes beyond mere acknowledgment of the other person's feelings. Empathy in NVC is active and engaging; it involves guessing at another's feelings and needs and reflecting them back to ensure understanding and connection.

Sympathy, on the other hand, while also an expression of concern, tends to involve feeling pity for another person but from a distance. It often places the sympathizer in a superior position, looking down on the situation rather than standing in it. Sympathy can sometimes lead to disconnection rather than connection because it might not engage with the depth of the emotional experience of the other person. It may come with an implied judgment or a sense of separation between the giver and the receiver of sympathy.

Here we stay open for the possibility of letting a difficulty plunge you out of the horizontal dimension of life, down into the depths of the underworld of the unconscious - and maybe re-emerging fundamentally changed. That underworld being naturally corrosive to ego structure. And the holes and cracks filled in kintsugi-style: not necessarily with new attributes of yourself but with new attributes of the world expressing through you.

Of course - we don’t necessarily chase this kind of difficulty. But if it comes, its always possible the “solution” is to let it pull you out of withdrawal your normal concerns, dismantle your old sense of order and meaning, and skate up to the edge of the unknown to see how it might offer profound transformation.